It's 10:30 am EST. I had plans to go grocery shopping. It's not going to happen. I am not in so much pain that I couldn't go. I just don't have the ambition to go. I think (seriously) that I am clinically depressed. Not depressed enough to open a vein. Just enough to prevent me from doing things that wouldn't have been a problem before.

I just read my friends' blogs. I don't know these women personally. They are my friends because we share migraine in common. We "met" at the migraine discussion board. I know what 3 of them look like as I am Queen of the Migraineurs' Photo Album! One of them has not sent in her picture (you know who you are!). That's ok. It's not required. I was even tempted to post Cindy Crawford's picture in place of mine. Then I thought, nah. How could I ever drum up sympathy if I looked that good? LOL

These women are so intelligent. Now, I used to think I was pretty bright, especially when I was married to my first husband. I sure could talk circles around him! I digress....being here alone most of the time, I think alot. I don't have friends to bounce ideas off of (and, see? I end sentences with prepositions...how smart could I be?). I know there are some real brains at the migraine discussion forum but it wasn't until I started reading these other blogs that I realized how versatile these brains are!

I sure wish I could meet up with my migraine friends (and be pain free....all of us). I have no desire to party. I want verbal intercourse. I want debate. I want my opinions challenged!

My husband doesn't like his opinion challenged. He comes from a different mindset. I was raised much more liberally than him. I see the pitfalls of my rearing. I also see the pitfalls of his. There has to be a happy medium. I think my middle step-daughter is doing a good job with her children. She is not so strict that she stifles her children but she is not so liberal that they are flapping in the breeze.

She would be mortified to know of my atheism. She knows I am not "saved" but I don't think she knows I have no belief at all. My husband has taught me that people who are "saved" are not kooks. Yes, I thought everyone who thought the Bible was literal was a kook.

Now, I know different. I don't understand why they believe it to be literal but they aren't kooks. Some are kooks....just not my family! I am still learning at this late stage in my life. I am learning to be more tolerant. I am teaching my husband to be more tolerant. He has his prejudices as do we all (I think that is a demon we humans all must fight) but I point it out to him whenever it shows up. He does the same for me!

Today is my nephew's birthday. He is thirtysomething! Gee, I remember when the TV show "Thirty Something" was on....and I was not yet in my 30's! Why is my life flying by so fast? It was so darned slow in the beginning. I wished and wished for adulthood and when it finally came, it is slipping away from me!

For those who are interested in the migraine aspect of my life, I can feel the ever present pain from which the migraine always springs. It doesn't always flatten me but it is always there, like my shadow. It follows me. I see my doctor on Thursday. I will show him my pain chart (thanks to another migraine forum member, I am able to plot my pain day to day). It has opened my eyes. I have been in denial. I had no idea I was in so much pain, so much of the time!

Thanks for reading.