Day 1

My husband left for Atlanta, today. He is expected to be gone for 11 days or so. Why am I chronicling this? Because he is all I have. I have some friends I gathered from my former workplaces but my connection with them is over the Internet. I have lovely neighbors, but I don't spend any time with them. I have some very true and remarkable friends I have met through the Internet at the migraine page. I wouldn't trade them for the world. Yet, my husband is the only other human being I spend any time with at all.

When we were dating, he would drive 8 hours to come see me for a weekend. He'd no sooner unpack his things when it was time to go home. My heart broke each and every time. I cried every darn time he had to leave.

I never cried until I met my husband. That may sound like a reason to stay away from him but I cried because I loved him so much. I didn't want to be apart from him. I also harbored the fear that he'd decide I wasn't who he wanted. I had built a very strong wall around my heart so I wouldn't be disappointed ever again. My wonderful husband loved me so much, the mortar holding the bricks together weakened and the wall crumbled.

It is so liberating to be able to feel free to love with abandon. I didn't have that freedom in my first marriage but I have it in this one. Yet, it is times like this (when my husband must be away for 11 days) that I halfway wish I still had that wall. It was a comfort in its own way. No, I am not going to well up in tears and fall apart. I am a big girl now. I will miss my wonderful husband and worry about his safety. My imagination can think of all sorts of things that could happen to him while he is away.

We've been in love for just over 8 years now. We've been married for 6½. I still don't like to be away from him. I have gotten past the crying, though. If you are one of my migraine friends, you know how crying is not a good thing.

I was to see the sleep doctor on Wednesday but I rescheduled to November which will also be in his office in my town. That is better for my psyche (easy drive) and for my wallet (gee, gas prices are so high).

My neighbor wants to go out to lunch one day while my husband is away. Since it is her birthday this week, I told her I want to treat. She is giving me a hard time about that but I will prevail!

So, I am off to start my day and my solo quest to kill 11 days! I have renewed my Netflix subscription. We watched "Monster-in-Law" last night (lukewarm) and I have two others to keep me occupied.

If I think of anything profound to say, I'll be back later. If not, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow!