Happy New Year!

It's 3:30PM, EST. Tears are running out of my eyes so it's hard to read this. I'll just type blind and hope for the best. I haven't heard from my boys. No call on Christmas. I thought the older one would call.

In a drug induced stupor, I called him and yelled onto his voicemail. I was hurt. I don't think I said anything too horrid but that's all I remember. My head requires such massive doses of pain relievers that my memory cannot function.

I've gone cold turkey as far as pain meds are concerned. I ran out of pills before I was allowed to ask for more meds. The usual nausea, diarrhea, disorientation, and, worst of all, skin crawling bone itching antsyness all culminating into horrid insomnia. I have taken 3 sleeping pills every night and find myself still wide awake at 5 am. Then I fall asleep just as the sun rises and stay that way until noon.

My goodness, I used to do that in my partying days. It was fun, then. Now it is torture. I feel a bit better today otherwise I wouldn't be on the computer. I sure hope I am past the worst of it.

Oddly enough, my head is only at a dull roar. I thought for sure I was in for a richter scale migraine attack. That's not to say it won't happen. If I had a job, I couldn't be there today.

My husband is so loving and thoughtful. If I was him I'd be so disgusted with me. The house is a mess and I cannot cook dinner. He cmes home and takes over. Luckily I made a large pot of pea soup with our Christmas ham. We've been subsisting on it ever since.

Most of you who come here, do so to read about migraine. I am beyond migraine right now. I realize I cannot be a normal person without pain medication to even out the rough edges.

I am out of pain meds. I'm out of triptans. I am out of happy thoughts. One more shove and I will be out of marriage. I don't know why he still acts so loving toward me. I am not worth it.

Pity soup....blech....I sure hope I spelled most words correctly. I don't feel up to spell checking. Imagine, I just barely passed typing class in high school. Of course, the teacher wanted me to do it the right way...npo peeking. Well, the teacher has gotten his way. I can't peek. My keyboard is in the dark.

The end.