My baby turned 18 today. He told me he dropped out of school and has to wait a year before taking the GED. He also told me he is living with friends and still working. So, his father is no longer going to get money from me to help out with any expenses our son accrued.

This is all so bittersweet. This was the year he was supposed to graduate from high school. It is hardly the future I wished for him when he was born. I am sure he has no idea how sad I am for him. He is probably gleeful at not having to go to school anymore.

Oh how I wish he'd get his GED and then go onto community college then a 4 year school. Yeah, parental wishes are not always a child's reality. I guess this is how my folks felt when I didn't keep at it. I spent one semester in community college. I hated it.

The happiest part of the whole conversation is I told him I loved him and when he said the same back, I said "do you really?" He said, "yes". I told him that I was afraid he only said it to get me off his back so he could go back to whatever he was doing before the phone call. He told me "no."

I feel somehow a bit lighter, like a burden has been lifted. Maybe it's a psychological thing. I just feel that now he is an adult and my absent parenting doesn't matter any more. He can do as he wants now. He sounded so polite and grown up instead of sullen. My fear has always been that he will get into trouble at some point and it will rip my heart out. Yeah, he is still my baby, no matter his age.