My son hates me. Yeah, I understand but it hurts just the same. He's 16½ and his brother is 20½. Both of them live at my mom's house in another state. They were living with their dad (their choice) and I moved away to marry someone else.

I left when they were 9 & 13. About 2 years ago, it all hit the fan. My first "clue" was when I was served with papers. The house I owned with my ex-husband was being foreclosed upon. He was supposed to refinance the house to get it out of my name. I knew he wouldn't do it as it would be too much trouble for him.

I had to contact my attorney, who managed to stop the foreclosure and get a realtor to sell the house. My ex insisted he had everything under control. Long story, short, my kids moved in with my mom (who lives nearby) until my ex could establish other living arrangements.

He never did. He ended up with his parents and the drug abuse came to light. It is now 2 years later, the ex has gone through rehab and has a small apartment. He is on disability (he has severe rheumatoid arthritis) and has no room for the boys.

My younger son was going to come live with me in Florida. My husband and I set up a nice bedroom for him. We got him new furnitrue and a tv and a computer. I bought a basketball player poster and new bedding for the bed.

We drive up to NY last year and my son through a fit. He cursed and ran off with a friend. My husband refused to entertain the idea of having him with us. I am not well enough to deal with this child. He is completely out of control. He will not listen to rules. I am in pain at least 50% of my life and cannot manage a household without children. I cannot manage one with a 6 foot incorrigible teenager. So, we left him behind.

So, back to him hating me. Yeah, I get it. I am the one who left. His father turned to drugs (either out of depression or out of uncontrolled arthritic pain) and my son blames me. His father took drugs before we had met. He smoked pot during our marriage. I am not going to tell my son this. It doesn't matter that the drug abuse and loss of the home occurred over 4 years after I left. It doesn't matter that I didn't turn to drugs when I was faced with a loveless marriage and a bleak future. No, all that matters is what this 16 year old sees in front of him.

Hopefully, someday, my young son will realize that life is not all black and white. Sometimes you have to delve a bit deeper to find the reasons for things. He can hate me. I will continue to love him for the rest of my days whether he likes it or not.