I have been ill for the past 3-300 days? I don't remember. I have diagnosed myself with dysentery.
No, this isn't WWI and I am not in the trenches but that is the only word I can use to describe what's been going on (or rather coming out of me) here.
One remarkable thing is I have no appetite! Actually, that is the #1 indicator that I am sick. 99% of the time, I can eat. Not this past 300 days.
I know, I am exaggerating. I don't care! Consider it poetic license....if you can consider dysentery ...poetry.
If anyone has any idea what the hell this is, please let me know! Insomnia (even though I am taking my sleeping pill), aches, headache (ha, ha...no, forget it, that's not funny), this is the gross part....I am warning you...VERY GRAPHIC. Put your lunch down before proceeding.
Yellow water where brown solids should be. I have never, EVER, experienced this before. I have developed an emotional attachment to a tube of Preparation H. Wait....ok....it's still there. I can't afford to lose that precious ointment!
OH my gosh. I cannot believe the things I will post here. Someday, someone will stumble upon this blog entry, while digging for dinosaur bones or something, and realize that the mental health situation in the early 21st Century, was down right prehistoric. I shouldn't be allowed to roam free.
Ah....but the dysentery has fixed that. I cannot leave as I am tethered to the bathroom. I am able to imagine faces in the pattern of the floor in the bathroom (like you do when you imagine the clouds in the sky being something tangible). No, the computer is not in the bathroom...I am on parole for the moment.
My cat, who loves to get a drink of water, numerous times per day, from the bathroom sink, has not shown much interest in that. I guess my olfactory senses are off. I thought it smelled like roses.
Enough of this gross talk. GRAPHIC PART OVER.
I was not able to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (oh my....isn't that an appropriate euphamism for my situation...ha ha ha....am I the only one who sees the humor in that comment?)
Anyway, I got my Johnny Depp fix by watching PotC and the 2nd half of Donnie Brasco (twice no less) over the weekend when I couldn't sleep (Donnie Brasco was on tv).
The absolutely funniest part of this is I don't have a doctor! Imagine....Leslie doesn't have a doctor. Yes, I have my neuro....but I have no GP. I am waiting for this new one in town to get accredited by BC/BS (BS....more euphamisms! ha ha). I figured (always a scary thing for me to do) that I wouldn't need a GP immediately!
My husband has assured me that he won't let me die of the big "D". I'll have to trust him. I have no choice. The cat's not on my side. In fact, I have had to seek out her company when the rule has always been the opposite.
I am off to the couch...well, eventually. Thank you to the guy who invented Preparation H....I feel sorry for the folks who only had Preparations A-G!!!!