Since I ran out of my pain killer (right after Christmas), I have been in pain every day. The first 2 weeks were absolute hell. The pain and the frantic disorientation were maddening. (hence the horrid, maniacal blog rants of early January).

The pain I have been experiencing since this breakdown has been much less intense. While the withdrawal/rebound or whatever it was occurred inside my entire head (meaning the pain was felt from my scalp to what seemed right into my brain stem), the pain I am having now only goes half as deep. For that I am grateful.

Now, I have what I imagine visually would look like electric storms. The pain will pulsate and sometimes expand as if a lightning bolt has crossed the outer ½ of my brain.

At least once a day, it feels like an aneurysm is the only logical answer for the intense pain centered in one area (about the size and shape of a twinkie....(food analogies are very revealing about my psyche, don't you think? LOL).

Today it is humid and overcast. I opened a few windows because I needed fresh air. I was assaulted with the smell of smoke (yes, here in Florida, they burn brush, yikes!). So, I closed the windows, noticed we were having a short, fine rain shower and threw up my hands. I turned the air conditioning on.

According to my thermostat, it was 72° in the house. I dropped the setting to 71°. The a/c kicked in and a pungent sour smell pumped into the house. I have smelled this smell before. My 1965 Buick Le Sabre's a/c smelled like that, way back in 1979. Amazing how the brain can remember smells so vividly.

I sprayed Lysol linen scent spray into the air intake grate (where the filter is....silly me, now that I think about it...the filter will catch it). I think the only way to expunge the odor is to just run the a/c.

I want this pain to move to an extremity. I want my arm or my leg to ache instead. I can't believe the nerve fibers in my head haven't burned to a crisp under this assault. Hearing, taste, smell, speech, thinking, or sleeping are not dependent on my arm. It is not fair that my (and other migraineurs and cluster sufferers) have to suffer in the command center of their body.

On a lighter note, I finally remembered my childhood friend's cat's name. Mind you, this cat has been dead at least 30 years. Yet, it was a big part of my life. It wasn't a common pet name....some obscure Egyptian king's name which I have never heard of before or since. It just popped into my brain the other night (when I wasn't thinking about it...isn't that always the way?).

How much other minutia is buried in my head? How many other memories that would delight me to revisit are stashed under the "files" I have saved in my later years? I sure wish I could tap into it although, I am sure my husband is crossing his fingers I don't. I bombard him with my random thoughts ad infinitum.....hence the play on words with the title of this blog.

Feel well, my friends.